So, I've been on "Summer Break" for 6 weeks now. I started this summer off with my cousin coming to visit me in Houston. Of course, I had to show her all the best that Houston has to offer--BBQ from Goode and Company, Gyros from Niko Nikos, Blue Bell Ice Cream (I always keep some in my freezer), and my personal favorite: The Chocolate Bar. I told myself--you're on vacation. Enjoy yourself. And so, I did.
Then, my cousin and I headed down to Corpus Christi to meet my family for some deep-sea fishing. We went out for sea food one day, celebrated my dad's birthday with ice cream from Baskin Robins, and of course, feasted on the homemade cookies that I had brought to share with everyone on the trip.
After that, we were headed out in my car for the 1200 mile drive to Houston. We had a blast, singing along with our tunes, sharing stories, laughing as we relived family times of the past. And of course, when we stopped in Las Cruces for the night, we had to get some of the local New Mexican cuisine. A dinner at La Posta Mesilla was everything we could have hoped for and more. We stuffed ourselves with chile relleno, tamales, enchiladas, and more. It was absolutely heavenly.
When we finally got to Arizona, where I am spending my summer, I had to hit up all my old favorite restaurants. So, slowly, over the past several weeks, I've patroned Tia Rosa's, Costa Vida, Aloha Kitchen, Sweetcakes, Mango's, Trader Joe's and more.
This morning, when I got on the scale, I had a rude awakening. All those calories are finally starting to catch up to me; my "muffin top" has been getting a little more "muffin-y."
HOLY SMOKES!?!
I thought you didn't have to count calories when you were on vacation!!!
How did I let this happen?
Well, it all started when I let my "vacation mode" take over reality. You see, it's okay to indulge sometimes. On occasion, you can have that ice cream sundae, the chips and salsa, the cheese fries, the greasy burger. It's when your "occasion" starts becoming a daily occurrence that you start to have problems. I've also noticed that once you let yourself get into "indulgence mode," you actually stop appreciating the food that you have; you stop really tasting it and enjoying it. You get caught up in the emotion of it and you let that take over. You stop eating because you're hungry and you need fuel. Instead, you eat to feel that emotion again.
I can see why people become drug addicts. There is something wonderful about letting go of yourself and letting your emotions take over--the need to "feel good" that food (or drugs) can bring. Something so freeing about giving the control to the substance--be it heroin or ice cream, marijuana or fettuccine alfredo.
What sucks is coming back to reality--and having to face the music. Knowing that you've just consumed WAY more calories than is necessary; having your clothes feel tighter the next morning, your arms feel more jiggly and less toned, watching the scale numbers jump up, higher and higher.
I have fallen off the BAND WAGON these past 6 weeks. And enough is enough! I am not on "vacation" anymore! You can't be in "vacation" eating mode when your vacation is TWO MONTHS LONG! It doesn't matter that I am about to head out to NYC and San Francisco, two cities with some of the most amazing food in the world. My life is not "vacation mode." My life is MODERATION in ALL things. Regular exercise. Control. I need to be in control, and not let the "feel good" emotions take over. I need to count calories, pay attention to portion sizes, and learn to say no. I can enjoy life without eating every single bite of delicious food that I come across.
Instead of "say no to drugs," my motto for the next few weeks is going to be "say no to bread and sugar." I'm not saying I will never eat bread or any form of sugar again. That would be absurd. But I am saying that I need to keep my distance, reacquaint myself with my good buddies "fruit, vegetables, and chewing gum" to stave off those hunger pangs. After all, this is my LIFE, not just my vacation.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I just saw the BAND WAGON turning left at the corner. I'm going to have to run to catch it, but it's about time I jumped back on...
Monday, July 16, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Wanted: One Fairy Godmother...
So, because my name is Anela, I'm the only girl in my family, have three brothers, and consequently, got stuck doing the bulk of the cooking and cleaning when I was a kid, my family has jokingly referred to me as "Cinder-Anela" for many years now. I am totally okay with this nickname; I just wish it came with the Fairy Godmother, Handsome Prince, beautiful dress, awesome shoes, and domestic rodents to help a girl out when she gets behind on her chores...
So, I've been thinking a lot about the story of Cinderella this week. Especially the part about the Fairy Godmother. I like that part. Who doesn't? She comes along with her magic wand, sings "bippity, boppity boo" and BAM! Cinderella has a fabulous one-of-a-kind dress, killer designer shoes, and a sweet ride to the Ball.
Last week I blogged about being a WINNER or a WHINER. I had this great epiphany about exercising and life, wrote it all down, and was totally pumped to start living my new life as a WINNER. I got up Monday morning, bright and early, and went running. WINNER. I got up Wednesday morning, bright and early, and went running. WINNER again! Friday morning...I hit the snooze button and went back to sleep. Uh oh. I was back to being a WHINER. Saturday morning...same thing. Sleep. No running. WHINER again! How could I have lost my motivation when it was so strong earlier in the week?!?
So, instead of simply getting out of bed and getting moving, I laid there, wishing for a Fairy Godmother who would come and bestow upon me the desire to run, who would magically transform my jiggly body to a super-toned running machine, who would give me energy to wake in the wee sma's of the morning, make me resistant to the heat of the summer, and basically, force my lazy butt out on the road. I mean, really. Having a Fairy Godmother would totally take the pressure off of me. My only job would be to lay around and be...deserving. And she would come along and do all the work and transform me into my dream--a RUNNER. A WINNER.
Then I started thinking more about the movie. More about Cinderella's life. Here she was, stuck doing all the chores while her step-mother and step-sisters lazed around all day. In fact, before the Fairy Godmother had come along to help her out, Cinderella has washed the floors, done the laundry, and finished all of the other cleaning and such. All on her own (well, with a little bit of help from the mice). The Fairy Godmother only came along after Cinderella's cruel step-mother and step-sisters had robbed her of her dress to wear to the ball--AFTER Cinderella had done all that she could to fulfill her own dream.
So, I guess the Fairy Godmother didn't do that much work, after all. All along, it was Cinderella who put in the time and effort, day in and day out. She worked for years before she finally got her Happily Ever After with Prince Charming. She spent much of her life working to become the woman who the Prince fell in love with. Her dream was all her own. The Fairy Godmother just came along and spruced her up so she was ready to find her place in her new life.
I've learned a lot from Cinderella.
This morning, my alarm went off only three and a half hours after I had gone to sleep. Of all days, this was one where I could have found justification in hitting snooze and going back to sleep. And yet, I didn't. I got up, get my gear on, and went out for a run. The combination of the heat (it was already 90ยบ outside at 5:30 am) and my sleep deprivation resulted in what was not my best run, by far. But I went. I toughed it out. This morning, I was a WINNER.
As I ran, I thought about all of these things. I realized that no Fairy Godmother is coming to wave her magic wand and "make" me into a RUNNER. If I want to be a RUNNER, then, by jove, I'm going to have to get out there and make it happen. Like Cinderella, I'm going to have to work day in and day out for years. I'm going to have to make it happen in spite of the "step-mothers" and "step-sisters" of the world who will think that being a RUNNER is not something I can achieve.
While I am still far from being a perfect WINNER, and have plenty of WHINER days, I am proud of the fact that, in spite of my WHINING moments, I keep coming back to the desire to get out there and run. I may go for days, weeks, or even months without running. But I keep coming back to it. I keep finding myself wanting to be a RUNNER. This brings to mind a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, "That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but that our power to do is increased."
And so, I persist. As often as I can. I work each day to try and overcome mental and physical blocks; I lace up my shoes and I go run.
One of these days, maybe my Fairy Godmother will show up. But I hope she finds an empty house...because that will mean that I'm out for a run. Cinder-Anela. Taking control of my own destiny.
So, I've been thinking a lot about the story of Cinderella this week. Especially the part about the Fairy Godmother. I like that part. Who doesn't? She comes along with her magic wand, sings "bippity, boppity boo" and BAM! Cinderella has a fabulous one-of-a-kind dress, killer designer shoes, and a sweet ride to the Ball.
Last week I blogged about being a WINNER or a WHINER. I had this great epiphany about exercising and life, wrote it all down, and was totally pumped to start living my new life as a WINNER. I got up Monday morning, bright and early, and went running. WINNER. I got up Wednesday morning, bright and early, and went running. WINNER again! Friday morning...I hit the snooze button and went back to sleep. Uh oh. I was back to being a WHINER. Saturday morning...same thing. Sleep. No running. WHINER again! How could I have lost my motivation when it was so strong earlier in the week?!?
So, instead of simply getting out of bed and getting moving, I laid there, wishing for a Fairy Godmother who would come and bestow upon me the desire to run, who would magically transform my jiggly body to a super-toned running machine, who would give me energy to wake in the wee sma's of the morning, make me resistant to the heat of the summer, and basically, force my lazy butt out on the road. I mean, really. Having a Fairy Godmother would totally take the pressure off of me. My only job would be to lay around and be...deserving. And she would come along and do all the work and transform me into my dream--a RUNNER. A WINNER.
Then I started thinking more about the movie. More about Cinderella's life. Here she was, stuck doing all the chores while her step-mother and step-sisters lazed around all day. In fact, before the Fairy Godmother had come along to help her out, Cinderella has washed the floors, done the laundry, and finished all of the other cleaning and such. All on her own (well, with a little bit of help from the mice). The Fairy Godmother only came along after Cinderella's cruel step-mother and step-sisters had robbed her of her dress to wear to the ball--AFTER Cinderella had done all that she could to fulfill her own dream.
So, I guess the Fairy Godmother didn't do that much work, after all. All along, it was Cinderella who put in the time and effort, day in and day out. She worked for years before she finally got her Happily Ever After with Prince Charming. She spent much of her life working to become the woman who the Prince fell in love with. Her dream was all her own. The Fairy Godmother just came along and spruced her up so she was ready to find her place in her new life.
I've learned a lot from Cinderella.
This morning, my alarm went off only three and a half hours after I had gone to sleep. Of all days, this was one where I could have found justification in hitting snooze and going back to sleep. And yet, I didn't. I got up, get my gear on, and went out for a run. The combination of the heat (it was already 90ยบ outside at 5:30 am) and my sleep deprivation resulted in what was not my best run, by far. But I went. I toughed it out. This morning, I was a WINNER.
As I ran, I thought about all of these things. I realized that no Fairy Godmother is coming to wave her magic wand and "make" me into a RUNNER. If I want to be a RUNNER, then, by jove, I'm going to have to get out there and make it happen. Like Cinderella, I'm going to have to work day in and day out for years. I'm going to have to make it happen in spite of the "step-mothers" and "step-sisters" of the world who will think that being a RUNNER is not something I can achieve.
While I am still far from being a perfect WINNER, and have plenty of WHINER days, I am proud of the fact that, in spite of my WHINING moments, I keep coming back to the desire to get out there and run. I may go for days, weeks, or even months without running. But I keep coming back to it. I keep finding myself wanting to be a RUNNER. This brings to mind a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, "That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but that our power to do is increased."
And so, I persist. As often as I can. I work each day to try and overcome mental and physical blocks; I lace up my shoes and I go run.
One of these days, maybe my Fairy Godmother will show up. But I hope she finds an empty house...because that will mean that I'm out for a run. Cinder-Anela. Taking control of my own destiny.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Winner or Whiner?
Okay, so I've been slacking in my life a LOT lately. Haven't been blogging. Haven't been running. What I HAVE been doing, however, is eating like crazy--filling my body with food to distract me from facing the hard and fast truth: Right now, I am a WHINER!
Yep.
You read that right.
WHINER!!!
I've been saying for months that I'm going to start running again. First, I was too busy with work. WHINER. Then, I got really sick and had a cough for weeks. WHINER. Then, I was getting ready to vacation with my family. After that, I was driving to Arizona for the summer. Then, 4 days after getting to Arizona, I was in a minor car accident, and while I was fine, my poor car was totaled. WHINER. So I was stressed about getting a new car. WHINER. Then, I was busy doing stuff with family. WHINER. It's too hot outside. WHINER. I'm tired and want to sleep in. WHINER. Everyday I wake up and make an excuse for why I can't/shouldn't/don't want to run. And trust me, many of my excuses were legitimate obstacles--getting in a car accident? Have a cough that caused me to hack uncontrollable and get short of breath just walking? Triple-Digit temperatures??
And then I started thinking about it. I remember a few months ago that my excuses for not going running included temps that were too cold, or too much rain. And, as I've reflected on things the past few days, I've realized (again), that there is always going to be an excuse NOT TO RUN. There will always be uncomfortable temperatures, work stresses, life, family obligations, lack of sleep, and countless other circumstances that I can legitimately site as reasons NOT TO RUN. That's what being a WHINER is all about. It's about looking at the cards you've been dealt and complaining that they aren't fair. WHINERS see only the obstacles. WHINERS are victims of their circumstances. WHINERS cry. WHINERS mumble excuses. WHINERS let life pass them by.
WHINERS ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME!
So how in the world did I become one?!?!?
Okay, before I move forward, let me sidetrack just a bit. I decided a while ago that I was going to sign up for the FULL MARATHON in Houston this year. I've run two half marathons and really want to run a FULL Marathon, so I figured now was the time to do it, when I'm relatively young and in good health. Running a FULL is on my Bucket List, and I really, REALLY want to be able to cross it off. So, I decided to sign up for Houston. For those of you who don't know, the Houston Marathon is a lottery run--more people want to run than they allow, so you put your name in and see if you get "drawn" or not. Well, a few weeks ago I put my name in, rather half-heartedly (since I haven't run in months), thinking "If I'm really meant to run a FULL, then I'll get drawn. But if I don't then I can use the lottery system as my excuse for not doing it (WHINER MENTALITY ALL THE WAY--blame someone else)."
Well, much to my surprise (shock? fear? trepidation?), I was ACTUALLY DRAWN and am in the FULL MARATHON! I found that out 5 days ago and guess how much training I've done since then. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. Why? Because I have still been in WHINER MODE, instead of putting myself in WINNER MODE.
What is a WINNER?
Well, according to Merriam-Webster online, a WINNER is "one that is successful especially through praiseworthy ability and hard work." In other words, a WINNER is someone who decides they want something and then WORKS UNTIL THEY GET IT! A WINNER will find a way to train, even when it's hot outside, whether that means getting up at 4am or running on a boring old treadmill. A WINNER will MAKE IT HAPPEN. A WINNER will go to bed early in anticipation of oh-dark-thirty runs. A WINNER will schedule time to train and will treat that time with the same responsibility and importance as one would treat work or family or church responsibilities. A WINNER surrounds herself with positive forces--supportive family and friends, well-functioning equipment, training plans, healthy food and nutrition information, proper clothes, encouraging thoughts, upbeat music--all to keep her focused on her goal, to push her forward.
A WINNER makes changes. Changes to her schedule, her diet, her spending habits (to afford the proper gear for running). A WINNER recognizes that anything really worthwhile in life is going to require sacrifice and a WINNER is willing to make those sacrifices--time, sleep, money and calories--in order to reach her goal.
A WINNER faces the same challenges and obstacles as a WHINER. But a WINNER will run, walk, or crawl until she gets to the end. A WINNER refuses to make excuses, to let the obstacles define her. A WINNER makes things happen.
I don't know what has happened to me in the past few days, but something has changed. Maybe it took having the "H" scared out of me (lol--that's my cheeky little pun), but I am tired of being a WHINER.
I have decided that I am going to be a WINNER instead!
I have 196 days to get myself in shape. It's going to be hard. It's going to hurt. I'm going to be at various time sore, grouchy, sweaty, tired, hungry and annoyed. But also know that there will be times where I feel confident, strong, cheerful, fit and perseverant.
Look for me on January 13, 2013 at the FINISH LINE--I'll be there, with the other WINNERS!
Yep.
You read that right.
WHINER!!!
I've been saying for months that I'm going to start running again. First, I was too busy with work. WHINER. Then, I got really sick and had a cough for weeks. WHINER. Then, I was getting ready to vacation with my family. After that, I was driving to Arizona for the summer. Then, 4 days after getting to Arizona, I was in a minor car accident, and while I was fine, my poor car was totaled. WHINER. So I was stressed about getting a new car. WHINER. Then, I was busy doing stuff with family. WHINER. It's too hot outside. WHINER. I'm tired and want to sleep in. WHINER. Everyday I wake up and make an excuse for why I can't/shouldn't/don't want to run. And trust me, many of my excuses were legitimate obstacles--getting in a car accident? Have a cough that caused me to hack uncontrollable and get short of breath just walking? Triple-Digit temperatures??
And then I started thinking about it. I remember a few months ago that my excuses for not going running included temps that were too cold, or too much rain. And, as I've reflected on things the past few days, I've realized (again), that there is always going to be an excuse NOT TO RUN. There will always be uncomfortable temperatures, work stresses, life, family obligations, lack of sleep, and countless other circumstances that I can legitimately site as reasons NOT TO RUN. That's what being a WHINER is all about. It's about looking at the cards you've been dealt and complaining that they aren't fair. WHINERS see only the obstacles. WHINERS are victims of their circumstances. WHINERS cry. WHINERS mumble excuses. WHINERS let life pass them by.
WHINERS ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME!
So how in the world did I become one?!?!?
Okay, before I move forward, let me sidetrack just a bit. I decided a while ago that I was going to sign up for the FULL MARATHON in Houston this year. I've run two half marathons and really want to run a FULL Marathon, so I figured now was the time to do it, when I'm relatively young and in good health. Running a FULL is on my Bucket List, and I really, REALLY want to be able to cross it off. So, I decided to sign up for Houston. For those of you who don't know, the Houston Marathon is a lottery run--more people want to run than they allow, so you put your name in and see if you get "drawn" or not. Well, a few weeks ago I put my name in, rather half-heartedly (since I haven't run in months), thinking "If I'm really meant to run a FULL, then I'll get drawn. But if I don't then I can use the lottery system as my excuse for not doing it (WHINER MENTALITY ALL THE WAY--blame someone else)."
Well, much to my surprise (shock? fear? trepidation?), I was ACTUALLY DRAWN and am in the FULL MARATHON! I found that out 5 days ago and guess how much training I've done since then. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. Why? Because I have still been in WHINER MODE, instead of putting myself in WINNER MODE.
What is a WINNER?
Well, according to Merriam-Webster online, a WINNER is "one that is successful especially through praiseworthy ability and hard work." In other words, a WINNER is someone who decides they want something and then WORKS UNTIL THEY GET IT! A WINNER will find a way to train, even when it's hot outside, whether that means getting up at 4am or running on a boring old treadmill. A WINNER will MAKE IT HAPPEN. A WINNER will go to bed early in anticipation of oh-dark-thirty runs. A WINNER will schedule time to train and will treat that time with the same responsibility and importance as one would treat work or family or church responsibilities. A WINNER surrounds herself with positive forces--supportive family and friends, well-functioning equipment, training plans, healthy food and nutrition information, proper clothes, encouraging thoughts, upbeat music--all to keep her focused on her goal, to push her forward.
A WINNER makes changes. Changes to her schedule, her diet, her spending habits (to afford the proper gear for running). A WINNER recognizes that anything really worthwhile in life is going to require sacrifice and a WINNER is willing to make those sacrifices--time, sleep, money and calories--in order to reach her goal.
A WINNER faces the same challenges and obstacles as a WHINER. But a WINNER will run, walk, or crawl until she gets to the end. A WINNER refuses to make excuses, to let the obstacles define her. A WINNER makes things happen.
I don't know what has happened to me in the past few days, but something has changed. Maybe it took having the "H" scared out of me (lol--that's my cheeky little pun), but I am tired of being a WHINER.
I have decided that I am going to be a WINNER instead!
I have 196 days to get myself in shape. It's going to be hard. It's going to hurt. I'm going to be at various time sore, grouchy, sweaty, tired, hungry and annoyed. But also know that there will be times where I feel confident, strong, cheerful, fit and perseverant.
Look for me on January 13, 2013 at the FINISH LINE--I'll be there, with the other WINNERS!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Running and Mormonism
So, I figured what better way to start off 2012 than to (finally) post a new blog. This post is going to be about some epiphanies I have had while running in the wee hours of the morning--mainly some connections that I have found between running and my faith. I know, I know. You thought this was only going to be a fitness blog (me too). But, guess what. I can write whatever I want to. So here goes.
About 2 years ago, I started running. I was seriously overweight and out of shape, so I started by using the Couch-to-5K running podcast, and after just a few short months, ran my first ever 5K race. I was slow, but I met my goal of running the entire 3.1 miles, hills and all. I was hooked! I bought a bunch of running gear, subscribed to Runner's World Magazine, and started training for a 1/2 marathon. Still, though I was faithfully running 2-3 times a week, I hesitated to call myself a "runner." In my mind, "runners" are people who hop out off bed every morning, thrilled to be able to hit the road before the sun rises, have long, graceful limbs, free of the fat and cellulite that plagues us mere mortals, and they can run (without tripping) smoothly for hours on end, without breaking a sweat, needing to hydrate, stopping to use the restroom, etc. I beat myself up thinking that I would never be one of THEM, as my stride would better be classified as a shuffle, sweat routinely pours down my face (even in the bitterest of cold mornings), and I find myself asking, about 73 times/minute, why in the world I thought it was a good idea to leave my comfy bed to trip along on the sidewalk, constantly on guard against the snakes, skunks and alligators that I am POSITIVE are stalking my path.
Well, in an attempt to keep this from being the longest blog post in the universe, let me sum up some things that I have come to learn about running over these 2 years. First, and most important, running is an ATTITUDE, not a speed, body shape, finishers medal, super wampadine watch or even a Personal Record (PR). I am a runner because, (at least on some days), I go out and run. It doesn't matter how far I run--whether it's 10 steps or 10 miles. I am a runner simply because I run. I choose to leave the warmth (or, in the summer, the refreshing coolness) of my apartment and I go out there and push my body. Now, if you've ever seen me running, you might be thinking "I'm pretty sure that I can walk on my hands faster than Anela is running," and you know what, you're probably right. Snails have been known to pass me up, I assure you. But guess what. I AM a runner. I choose to identify with the lifestyle and the philosophy of running, so whether or not you like it or agree with it, I can honestly and truly classify myself as a runner.
That's not to say that I haven't experienced some backlash, even from some people who would call me their friend. I can't say that it doesn't hurt a little (okay sometimes a LOT) when I am talking about running, or training for an upcoming race, and I see the look of surprise (not the good kind) and incredulity on their faces as they ask things like ,"so, uh, have you started, like, uh, training yet?!? Because it's clear that they are looking at my chubby (cushy? plump? large? squishy?) frame and thinking that I clearly don't resemble what a RUNNER looks like (lean, graceful, sweat-less...you get the picture). I've got to be honest. Sometimes, I just want to punch them in the face. Because I never said that I was planning on WINNING the race, or pacing at 6 minute miles. Heck, I never even said that I was going to RUN the ENTIRE time. But yes, stupid. If I have signed up for a 1/2 marathon, then yes, I have been training. Meaning, while you were sleeping in your cozy little bed on Saturday morning, I was out running 7, 8 even 10 miles sometimes. And sure, I went slow and walked some of it. But I ran a whole hell of a lot farther than these so-called friends who just look at me, jaws dropped, because I don't fit the mold of what they think a RUNNER is. In life, there will always be skeptics. I have learned (mostly) to ignore them, because it's how I see MYSELF that really matter. I see myself as a RUNNER, so I AM A RUNNER, no matter what these other bozos think or say.
Okay, by now you're probably looking back at the title of this post and thinking "didn't she say something about Mormonism?" I'm getting there. Just give me a second.
You may have figured out by now that I am a Mormon (if not, I'm letting the cat out of the bag right here and now). Some of you reading this may be Mormon, some of you used to be Mormon, and some of you may have never heard of Mormons. I am not here to share the belief system of my church. If you want to know more, simply go to www.lds.org or ask me. I AM here to to address what are some common misconceptions about Mormons, usually misconceptions that we have about ourselves, and how this related to what I've learned about RUNNERS. MORMONS are often seen as the "happy people" who go around smiling all the time, have zillions of kids, don't drink coffee or alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, spend THREE hours at church every Sunday, serve 2-year missions, and try and convert others to our faith. Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready for it? I am MORMON and I am NOT PERFECT! There, you have it! I know, I know. Some of you who know me and spend a lot of time in my company are surely wondering about this revelation, but I assure you, although I never make mistakes in front of you, on occasion, at home, behind closed doors, I have an unkind thought or two or, in rare instances, use foul language (like I did earlier in this post, when I used the term hell, or as I prefer to say, H-E-double hockey sticks). :-)Other than that, I'm pretty much PERFECT.
NOT!
So, here comes the analogy that you've been waiting so patiently for. Spirituality is a lot like running. We are all at different places in our spiritual fitness. Some people are born runners, with lean bodies that were seemingly meant to gracefully glide through races. Just like some people are naturally good at choosing the right and keeping the commandments. It's not that they don't have to work at it--just like professional runners, who spend hours and hours each day training and conditioning for their races, these righteous people spend hours and hours each day reading the scriptures, praying, serving others, and being Christlike. It doesn't make them any better than anyone else--it just makes them really good at something (running, or following the commandments) that may be really hard for a lot of other people.
I was not born to run. Even if I were to train for hours and hours a day, keep a strict diet, and bust my butt, I doubt I would ever break a 9 minute-mile. I will never be a competitive runner. Ever. But that doesn't mean that I can't be a runner. It just means that I will cross the finish line long after the elite runners have passed (and packed their bags, eaten lunch, gotten a massage, and headed home!). Let me tell you something I was born to do. I was born to read. My oldest brother taught me to read when I was 3 years old, using a newspaper and some old books. By the time my little brother was born (I had just turned 4), I was reading Berenstein Bear books to him. Reading has ALWAYS come easy for me. Not that I haven't put in the time--even now, I love to read and spend several hours each week reading. But I love doing it, so it seems much more natural to me than running. There are people out there who will never be able to read as quickly as I can, people who spend weeks and months puzzling out the words in a book that I can finish in a few hours. But they are still readers, and just like I shouldn't compare my weak area (running) to an elite runner's strength, a struggling reader should not compare their struggle with my strength. It's an unfair comparison.
The same thing goes with gospel principles. We all have things that we are good at doing, things that come easily. For some, sitting through 3 hours of church is no problem, for some, reading their scriptures is a "given," for others, paying tithing is just something that you "do," not something that you have to practice and agonize over. However, we are all at different spiritual fitness levels, so one person's strength is another person's struggle or weakness. Just because you forgot to pay your tithing, missed part of church, or didn't say a prayer this morning doesn't mean that you are a "Bad" Mormon. In general, I have found that I am my own worst critic. I feel that because I hold a set of beliefs that teach me to always strive toward self mastery and perfection, like the perfect example, Jesus Christ, somehow I feel that I should already be there, that I should be perfect. I hate to disappoint (and shock) you, but I still have a long, LONG way to go on that goal. However, the fact that I wake up each morning, determined to "be a Mormon," and live the principles that I hold to be true, makes me a Mormon, just as waking up in the morning, getting out of bed and going running, however far (or short) I go, makes me a runner.
Whatever others make thing (or say, or judge), I am the one who determines my fate, I am the one who decides how I will describe myself, what characteristics I will have, what principles I will uphold, what routes I will run. I am a runner. I am a Mormon Runner!
About 2 years ago, I started running. I was seriously overweight and out of shape, so I started by using the Couch-to-5K running podcast, and after just a few short months, ran my first ever 5K race. I was slow, but I met my goal of running the entire 3.1 miles, hills and all. I was hooked! I bought a bunch of running gear, subscribed to Runner's World Magazine, and started training for a 1/2 marathon. Still, though I was faithfully running 2-3 times a week, I hesitated to call myself a "runner." In my mind, "runners" are people who hop out off bed every morning, thrilled to be able to hit the road before the sun rises, have long, graceful limbs, free of the fat and cellulite that plagues us mere mortals, and they can run (without tripping) smoothly for hours on end, without breaking a sweat, needing to hydrate, stopping to use the restroom, etc. I beat myself up thinking that I would never be one of THEM, as my stride would better be classified as a shuffle, sweat routinely pours down my face (even in the bitterest of cold mornings), and I find myself asking, about 73 times/minute, why in the world I thought it was a good idea to leave my comfy bed to trip along on the sidewalk, constantly on guard against the snakes, skunks and alligators that I am POSITIVE are stalking my path.
Well, in an attempt to keep this from being the longest blog post in the universe, let me sum up some things that I have come to learn about running over these 2 years. First, and most important, running is an ATTITUDE, not a speed, body shape, finishers medal, super wampadine watch or even a Personal Record (PR). I am a runner because, (at least on some days), I go out and run. It doesn't matter how far I run--whether it's 10 steps or 10 miles. I am a runner simply because I run. I choose to leave the warmth (or, in the summer, the refreshing coolness) of my apartment and I go out there and push my body. Now, if you've ever seen me running, you might be thinking "I'm pretty sure that I can walk on my hands faster than Anela is running," and you know what, you're probably right. Snails have been known to pass me up, I assure you. But guess what. I AM a runner. I choose to identify with the lifestyle and the philosophy of running, so whether or not you like it or agree with it, I can honestly and truly classify myself as a runner.
That's not to say that I haven't experienced some backlash, even from some people who would call me their friend. I can't say that it doesn't hurt a little (okay sometimes a LOT) when I am talking about running, or training for an upcoming race, and I see the look of surprise (not the good kind) and incredulity on their faces as they ask things like ,"so, uh, have you started, like, uh, training yet?!? Because it's clear that they are looking at my chubby (cushy? plump? large? squishy?) frame and thinking that I clearly don't resemble what a RUNNER looks like (lean, graceful, sweat-less...you get the picture). I've got to be honest. Sometimes, I just want to punch them in the face. Because I never said that I was planning on WINNING the race, or pacing at 6 minute miles. Heck, I never even said that I was going to RUN the ENTIRE time. But yes, stupid. If I have signed up for a 1/2 marathon, then yes, I have been training. Meaning, while you were sleeping in your cozy little bed on Saturday morning, I was out running 7, 8 even 10 miles sometimes. And sure, I went slow and walked some of it. But I ran a whole hell of a lot farther than these so-called friends who just look at me, jaws dropped, because I don't fit the mold of what they think a RUNNER is. In life, there will always be skeptics. I have learned (mostly) to ignore them, because it's how I see MYSELF that really matter. I see myself as a RUNNER, so I AM A RUNNER, no matter what these other bozos think or say.
Okay, by now you're probably looking back at the title of this post and thinking "didn't she say something about Mormonism?" I'm getting there. Just give me a second.
You may have figured out by now that I am a Mormon (if not, I'm letting the cat out of the bag right here and now). Some of you reading this may be Mormon, some of you used to be Mormon, and some of you may have never heard of Mormons. I am not here to share the belief system of my church. If you want to know more, simply go to www.lds.org or ask me. I AM here to to address what are some common misconceptions about Mormons, usually misconceptions that we have about ourselves, and how this related to what I've learned about RUNNERS. MORMONS are often seen as the "happy people" who go around smiling all the time, have zillions of kids, don't drink coffee or alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, spend THREE hours at church every Sunday, serve 2-year missions, and try and convert others to our faith. Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready for it? I am MORMON and I am NOT PERFECT! There, you have it! I know, I know. Some of you who know me and spend a lot of time in my company are surely wondering about this revelation, but I assure you, although I never make mistakes in front of you, on occasion, at home, behind closed doors, I have an unkind thought or two or, in rare instances, use foul language (like I did earlier in this post, when I used the term hell, or as I prefer to say, H-E-double hockey sticks). :-)Other than that, I'm pretty much PERFECT.
NOT!
So, here comes the analogy that you've been waiting so patiently for. Spirituality is a lot like running. We are all at different places in our spiritual fitness. Some people are born runners, with lean bodies that were seemingly meant to gracefully glide through races. Just like some people are naturally good at choosing the right and keeping the commandments. It's not that they don't have to work at it--just like professional runners, who spend hours and hours each day training and conditioning for their races, these righteous people spend hours and hours each day reading the scriptures, praying, serving others, and being Christlike. It doesn't make them any better than anyone else--it just makes them really good at something (running, or following the commandments) that may be really hard for a lot of other people.
I was not born to run. Even if I were to train for hours and hours a day, keep a strict diet, and bust my butt, I doubt I would ever break a 9 minute-mile. I will never be a competitive runner. Ever. But that doesn't mean that I can't be a runner. It just means that I will cross the finish line long after the elite runners have passed (and packed their bags, eaten lunch, gotten a massage, and headed home!). Let me tell you something I was born to do. I was born to read. My oldest brother taught me to read when I was 3 years old, using a newspaper and some old books. By the time my little brother was born (I had just turned 4), I was reading Berenstein Bear books to him. Reading has ALWAYS come easy for me. Not that I haven't put in the time--even now, I love to read and spend several hours each week reading. But I love doing it, so it seems much more natural to me than running. There are people out there who will never be able to read as quickly as I can, people who spend weeks and months puzzling out the words in a book that I can finish in a few hours. But they are still readers, and just like I shouldn't compare my weak area (running) to an elite runner's strength, a struggling reader should not compare their struggle with my strength. It's an unfair comparison.
The same thing goes with gospel principles. We all have things that we are good at doing, things that come easily. For some, sitting through 3 hours of church is no problem, for some, reading their scriptures is a "given," for others, paying tithing is just something that you "do," not something that you have to practice and agonize over. However, we are all at different spiritual fitness levels, so one person's strength is another person's struggle or weakness. Just because you forgot to pay your tithing, missed part of church, or didn't say a prayer this morning doesn't mean that you are a "Bad" Mormon. In general, I have found that I am my own worst critic. I feel that because I hold a set of beliefs that teach me to always strive toward self mastery and perfection, like the perfect example, Jesus Christ, somehow I feel that I should already be there, that I should be perfect. I hate to disappoint (and shock) you, but I still have a long, LONG way to go on that goal. However, the fact that I wake up each morning, determined to "be a Mormon," and live the principles that I hold to be true, makes me a Mormon, just as waking up in the morning, getting out of bed and going running, however far (or short) I go, makes me a runner.
Whatever others make thing (or say, or judge), I am the one who determines my fate, I am the one who decides how I will describe myself, what characteristics I will have, what principles I will uphold, what routes I will run. I am a runner. I am a Mormon Runner!
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