For Sale: Gently Used Crystal Ball...

So, this summer did not turn out exactly as I had planned. At the beginning of June, as I looked into my CRYSTAL BALL at what the summer held for me, I had this bright, optimistic view of what things would look like...a great summer job working at a technology camp in San Antonio where I would have plenty of free time to exercise and prepare for the upcoming 1/2 marathon race (Nov 14, 2010) followed by a weekend family celebration of my niece's 1st birthday, then a few days to "rest and regroup" before heading off to a dream vacation in Europe where I would diligently maintain my "training schedule" and use the wonderful workout facilities provided by the hotels I was staying in. Then, come August 16 I would return to work, healthy, happy, toned up, slimmer, and well on my way to that 1/2 marathon.

Yeah. And then I woke up from my IMAGINARY WORLD into the INSANITY that was summer camp. I was so busy that I didn't have time to sleep, much less contemplate "working out." As the stress levels rose to Mt. Everest-like peaks, so did my sugar and caffeine consumption. You may have heard of my brief resolve to go without soda for the month of July...yeah, that lasted all of 4 days! The heavy, fatty cafeteria food weighed my body down and stress weighed my spirit down, and try as I might, I just couldn't seem to think much of anything other than, "Please, God, let this all be over soon." I think I worked out a total of 5 times during the 5 1/2 weeks that I was in San Antonio.

The evening that camp ended, I drove to Austin to meet up with my family for my niece's birthday celebration. So you can imagine how much exercising I did then! The most exercise I had that weekend was picking up an adorable 1 year-old and playing with her. And it's not like I was going to turn down all that delicious food that my mom and sister-in-law had spent so much time making. I mean, really, I was just eating so I didn't hurt their feelings. After all, what is ONE weekend in the grand scheme of things?

By the time I arrived back at my apartment, I had less than 72 hours until I would be getting on a plane and heading to the East coast to meet up with my friend and then fly to Europe. It wasn't really worth buying any food for just 2 days of being home, so I mostly ate out.

Then, I was in EUROPE! And I couldn't wait to try all their delicious food. Bread, chocolate, sausages...and most importantly, GELATO! I has Gelato almost every day, after all I was in EUROPE. This was vacation. And I was walking everywhere, so I was burning all...er, um, most of the calories that I was consuming. I mean, who's going to eat Luna Bars and count calories when there are kolaches, bratwurst, spetzl, or roast duck to enjoy. I mean, REALLY!?!?!

And now, here I sit, on the eve of August 16...
Happy? Yes. Happy that I got to fulfill a dream and see the Passion Play in Germany. Happy that I was able to have such an awesome trip to Europe. Happy that summer camp is over and that I was able to earn extra money. Happy that I got to see my family and celebrate my niece's birthday with them. Happy that a new school year is about to start. So, happiness, yeah, I've got that covered. It's all the other stuff I saw in my CRYSTAL BALL about being toned, slimmer, and ready for the 1/2 marathon that I am somehow MISSING.

And WHY are those things missing??? Because, I made some choices. When push came to shove, and I got stressed out, I chose to let my health and fitness take a back seat. Was I right? Was I wrong? Does it really matter? I can't take back the decisions that I made, but I can think about the consequences, and try to plan better for the future.

I don't need a CRYSTAL BALL to show me that STRESS is NOT AN EXCUSE to jump off the bandwagon (lessons I have learned the hard way this summer). I am committed to living a healthy lifestyle, but the reality is, it's going to be a CHOICE that I have to make EVERY SINGLE MORNING for the REST OF MY LIFE! When I wake up in the morning, whether it's raining or sunny, cold or boiling hot, whether it's a school day or the weekend, whether I'm at my own house or on vacation, whether I'm up 3 lbs or down 2 lbs, whether my clothes are too tight or are hanging loose on my frame, each day I have to say to myself, "Anela, how are you going to live your life today? Are you going to prioritize YOU, and make it a healthy, fit day, or are you going to let OTHER THINGS TAKE OVER and become subject to them?"

The reality is, I am NOT used to making myself a priority. I think that's part of being a woman, and also just part of being Anela. I always seem to put myself at the BOTTOM of the list of priorities. Work, family, friends, they all come first. After all, I've been taught to be a selfless person. So for 31 years I have been going about life with the mindset that everyone else comes first, and I take care up my own needs with whatever time/energy/effort is left over at the end of the day.

But the only way to truly make health and fitness a LIFESTYLE CHANGE is to put ANELA as the #1 person on my list. And let me tell you, that is very hard for me to do. It's hard to say, even just in writing, that my needs are more important than everything else around me. That MY needs trump work, friends and family. That it's okay to let those copies wait until tomorrow, to wait before returning a phone call, to say "hey, sorry I can't make it" to the invitation from a colleague because I NEED TO GO and TAKE CARE OF ANELA. I need to work out, so I'll finish up with these emails tomorrow. I need to pack a lunch for work, so I'll have to call you back later. I need to go grocery shopping, so I can't make it to dinner with you guys. I have a 1/2 marathon to train for, and I need to get up early Saturday morning for a long run, so I'm going to have to leave your game night early on Friday night.

And you know what, it's okay. I have to keep telling myself that IT'S OKAY for me to make my healthy lifestyle my priority. Because if I let excuses get in the way, even good excuses, then I will always be a victim of my circumstances, and never really in control of my life.

So, now I'm going to try this again. I am going to look into my CRYSTAL BALL and tell you what I see happening in the next few months...

I see myself using a calendar to schedule my weekly workouts and even checking off the days as I finish them
I see myself going in to Luke's Locker to be fitted for new running shoes
I see myself cross training and working on the 200 Squat Challenge and the 100 Push-up challenge in addition to other strength training
I see myself pushing harder and running longer each week
I see myself with a big group of runners from school, cheering each other, laughing, joking, speaking words of encouragement and congratulating each other on our successes
I see myself limiting my sugar and soda intake and focusing on a balanced diet of protein, fruits and veggies, and carbs
I see myself sometimes turning down or rescheduling social opportunities when they interfere with my training schedule
I see myself leaving work in time to meet up with my exercise buddy and not letting the job interfere with my training

I see myself...becoming a runner

I see myself...living the dream.

I see the dream becoming a reality as I cross the finish line in San Antonio on November 14.

I see myself tossing out that old CRYSTAL BALL...because who needs magic and dreams, when you have a healthy life to START LIVING!