Running and Mormonism

So, I figured what better way to start off 2012 than to (finally) post a new blog. This post is going to be about some epiphanies I have had while running in the wee hours of the morning--mainly some connections that I have found between running and my faith. I know, I know. You thought this was only going to be a fitness blog (me too). But, guess what. I can write whatever I want to. So here goes.

About 2 years ago, I started running. I was seriously overweight and out of shape, so I started by using the Couch-to-5K running podcast, and after just a few short months, ran my first ever 5K race. I was slow, but I met my goal of running the entire 3.1 miles, hills and all. I was hooked! I bought a bunch of running gear, subscribed to Runner's World Magazine, and started training for a 1/2 marathon. Still, though I was faithfully running 2-3 times a week, I hesitated to call myself a "runner." In my mind, "runners" are people who hop out off bed every morning, thrilled to be able to hit the road before the sun rises, have long, graceful limbs, free of the fat and cellulite that plagues us mere mortals, and they can run (without tripping) smoothly for hours on end, without breaking a sweat, needing to hydrate, stopping to use the restroom, etc. I beat myself up thinking that I would never be one of THEM, as my stride would better be classified as a shuffle, sweat routinely pours down my face (even in the bitterest of cold mornings), and I find myself asking, about 73 times/minute, why in the world I thought it was a good idea to leave my comfy bed to trip along on the sidewalk, constantly on guard against the snakes, skunks and alligators that I am POSITIVE are stalking my path.

Well, in an attempt to keep this from being the longest blog post in the universe, let me sum up some things that I have come to learn about running over these 2 years. First, and most important, running is an ATTITUDE, not a speed, body shape, finishers medal, super wampadine watch or even a Personal Record (PR). I am a runner because, (at least on some days), I go out and run. It doesn't matter how far I run--whether it's 10 steps or 10 miles. I am a runner simply because I run. I choose to leave the warmth (or, in the summer, the refreshing coolness) of my apartment and I go out there and push my body. Now, if you've ever seen me running, you might be thinking "I'm pretty sure that I can walk on my hands faster than Anela is running," and you know what, you're probably right. Snails have been known to pass me up, I assure you. But guess what. I AM a runner. I choose to identify with the lifestyle and the philosophy of running, so whether or not you like it or agree with it, I can honestly and truly classify myself as a runner.

That's not to say that I haven't experienced some backlash, even from some people who would call me their friend. I can't say that it doesn't hurt a little (okay sometimes a LOT) when I am talking about running, or training for an upcoming race, and I see the look of surprise (not the good kind) and incredulity on their faces as they ask things like ,"so, uh, have you started, like, uh, training yet?!? Because it's clear that they are looking at my chubby (cushy? plump? large? squishy?) frame and thinking that I clearly don't resemble what a RUNNER looks like (lean, graceful, sweat-less...you get the picture). I've got to be honest. Sometimes, I just want to punch them in the face. Because I never said that I was planning on WINNING the race, or pacing at 6 minute miles. Heck, I never even said that I was going to RUN the ENTIRE time. But yes, stupid. If I have signed up for a 1/2 marathon, then yes, I have been training. Meaning, while you were sleeping in your cozy little bed on Saturday morning, I was out running 7, 8 even 10 miles sometimes. And sure, I went slow and walked some of it. But I ran a whole hell of a lot farther than these so-called friends who just look at me, jaws dropped, because I don't fit the mold of what they think a RUNNER is. In life, there will always be skeptics. I have learned (mostly) to ignore them, because it's how I see MYSELF that really matter. I see myself as a RUNNER, so I AM A RUNNER, no matter what these other bozos think or say.

Okay, by now you're probably looking back at the title of this post and thinking "didn't she say something about Mormonism?" I'm getting there. Just give me a second.

You may have figured out by now that I am a Mormon (if not, I'm letting the cat out of the bag right here and now). Some of you reading this may be Mormon, some of you used to be Mormon, and some of you may have never heard of Mormons. I am not here to share the belief system of my church. If you want to know more, simply go to www.lds.org or ask me. I AM here to to address what are some common misconceptions about Mormons, usually misconceptions that we have about ourselves, and how this related to what I've learned about RUNNERS. MORMONS are often seen as the "happy people" who go around smiling all the time, have zillions of kids, don't drink coffee or alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, spend THREE hours at church every Sunday, serve 2-year missions, and try and convert others to our faith. Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready for it? I am MORMON and I am NOT PERFECT! There, you have it! I know, I know. Some of you who know me and spend a lot of time in my company are surely wondering about this revelation, but I assure you, although I never make mistakes in front of you, on occasion, at home, behind closed doors, I have an unkind thought or two or, in rare instances, use foul language (like I did earlier in this post, when I used the term hell, or as I prefer to say, H-E-double hockey sticks). :-)Other than that, I'm pretty much PERFECT.

NOT!

So, here comes the analogy that you've been waiting so patiently for. Spirituality is a lot like running. We are all at different places in our spiritual fitness. Some people are born runners, with lean bodies that were seemingly meant to gracefully glide through races. Just like some people are naturally good at choosing the right and keeping the commandments. It's not that they don't have to work at it--just like professional runners, who spend hours and hours each day training and conditioning for their races, these righteous people spend hours and hours each day reading the scriptures, praying, serving others, and being Christlike. It doesn't make them any better than anyone else--it just makes them really good at something (running, or following the commandments) that may be really hard for a lot of other people.

I was not born to run. Even if I were to train for hours and hours a day, keep a strict diet, and bust my butt, I doubt I would ever break a 9 minute-mile. I will never be a competitive runner. Ever. But that doesn't mean that I can't be a runner. It just means that I will cross the finish line long after the elite runners have passed (and packed their bags, eaten lunch, gotten a massage, and headed home!). Let me tell you something I was born to do. I was born to read. My oldest brother taught me to read when I was 3 years old, using a newspaper and some old books. By the time my little brother was born (I had just turned 4), I was reading Berenstein Bear books to him. Reading has ALWAYS come easy for me. Not that I haven't put in the time--even now, I love to read and spend several hours each week reading. But I love doing it, so it seems much more natural to me than running. There are people out there who will never be able to read as quickly as I can, people who spend weeks and months puzzling out the words in a book that I can finish in a few hours. But they are still readers, and just like I shouldn't compare my weak area (running) to an elite runner's strength, a struggling reader should not compare their struggle with my strength. It's an unfair comparison.

The same thing goes with gospel principles. We all have things that we are good at doing, things that come easily. For some, sitting through 3 hours of church is no problem, for some, reading their scriptures is a "given," for others, paying tithing is just something that you "do," not something that you have to practice and agonize over. However, we are all at different spiritual fitness levels, so one person's strength is another person's struggle or weakness. Just because you forgot to pay your tithing, missed part of church, or didn't say a prayer this morning doesn't mean that you are a "Bad" Mormon. In general, I have found that I am my own worst critic. I feel that because I hold a set of beliefs that teach me to always strive toward self mastery and perfection, like the perfect example, Jesus Christ, somehow I feel that I should already be there, that I should be perfect. I hate to disappoint (and shock) you, but I still have a long, LONG way to go on that goal. However, the fact that I wake up each morning, determined to "be a Mormon," and live the principles that I hold to be true, makes me a Mormon, just as waking up in the morning, getting out of bed and going running, however far (or short) I go, makes me a runner.

Whatever others make thing (or say, or judge), I am the one who determines my fate, I am the one who decides how I will describe myself, what characteristics I will have, what principles I will uphold, what routes I will run. I am a runner. I am a Mormon Runner!