CrossFit Prayer

CrossFit Prayer

By Anela Wenger

Now I lay me down to CrossFit,

I pray the Lord I just won’t quit.

If I should fail to get a PR,

I pray at least to lift the bar,

And thrust and jerk and clean and press,

And kettle bell swing ‘til I’m a mess. 

Then jump up on a 20” box,

Show off my knee-high Rx socks.

And do a snatch or two at least,

Hear my coach yell “you’re a BEAST!”

Now 80 wall balls, squats, pull-ups,

Clock is ticking—time’s almost up.

Let’s do a TABATA, some double-unders,

Who made this workout—Satan? I wonder.

I think it just can’t get any more “fun,”

Then Coach says, “rest” on a half-mile run.

My legs are Jell-O, my arms are on fire,

Could the step onto the curb be any higher?

My body wants to take a nap,

But I just want to finish this AMRAP!

At last, there’s a beep; it’s over now,

I’m still alive—but not sure how.

Collapsed onto a stinky mat,

I leave some sweat marks where I sat.

Now, awful as that hour was,

My brain gets warped and full of fuzz.

For with the “good nights” and “later, bro,”

I suddenly shout out, “See you tomorrow!”

Now I lay me down to WOD,

And pray it doesn’t kill my bod.

If I should die before I wake,

That’s one less rep I’ll have to make.