Friday, April 4, 2014

CrossFit Prayer

CrossFit Prayer
By Anela Wenger

Now I lay me down to CrossFit,
I pray the Lord I just won’t quit.
If I should fail to get a PR,
I pray at least to lift the bar,
And thrust and jerk and clean and press,
And kettle bell swing ‘til I’m a mess. 
Then jump up on a 20” box,
Show off my knee-high Rx socks.
And do a snatch or two at least,
Hear my coach yell “you’re a BEAST!”
Now 80 wall balls, squats, pull-ups,
Clock is ticking—time’s almost up.
Let’s do a TABATA, some double-unders,
Who made this workout—Satan? I wonder.
I think it just can’t get any more “fun,”
Then Coach says, “rest” on a half-mile run.
My legs are Jell-O, my arms are on fire,
Could the step onto the curb be any higher?
My body wants to take a nap,
But I just want to finish this AMRAP!
At last, there’s a beep; it’s over now,
I’m still alive—but not sure how.
Collapsed onto a stinky mat,
I leave some sweat marks where I sat.
Now, awful as that hour was,
My brain gets warped and full of fuzz.
For with the “good nights” and “later, bro,”
I suddenly shout out, “See you tomorrow!
Now I lay me down to WOD,
And pray it doesn’t kill my bod.
If I should die before I wake,
That’s one less rep I’ll have to make.





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